What a year it has been! I was asked a “table question” at dinner during a work outing. The question is “What day in the past year would you relive and why?” Most years this question would have been pretty easy, but this past year has been a different case. In the past year, I have served alongside 10 other Clemson students serving in a leadership capacity for the ministry that brought me back to Christ (FCA). This included the highs of seeing God work to leading a team on a mission trip to Philadelphia and laughing endlessly while serving others. Then I graduated college from the greatest university, Clemson (Go Tigers!). Two days later I was on a plane with my family to Japan to visit my brother whom I hadn’t seen in over a year and my first time outside of North America. I got to spend the summer in Raleigh living with my best friend, Nate, and acclimating to the city I hope to spend the next years of my life. Fellows started with an unforgettable retreat at Lake Gaston as I gained a glimpse into the vast depth of the hearts of 11 strangers (yeah Ashley is definitely included in this) and how they care so deeply to know God and love others. I got to stand beside Nate’s side as he married Zoe. Each day with the fellows has been just as noteworthy as the aforementioned events from cooking for roundtable with Berkley to classes with Benji, Jason, Jon, etc. to nights with the boys and all the spontaneous hangouts. Ultimately, this question helped me appreciate everything good in my life despite the lies and insecurities in my head. There is a benefit to reflecting on the past especially in my position to remember the good times God has blessed me with and not get caught up in the day to day snares and sins of life. This reminds me of the book of Judges as Israel failed to pass on the stories of the blessings God had given them and they returned to sin time and time again.
I have started meeting with Chris Byron from Apostles. Ever since I interviewed with him I wanted to be his friend and learn from him. Before Thanksgiving he challenged me with coming up with 3 Bible verses which have impacted me during Fellows. The first story which stuck out to me came from a sermon I heard a couple weeks before Fellows started but it really started to work in my heart throughout Fellows. This was the story of Mary and Martha which I had heard a dozen times before, but I always had been taught and understood Martha as doing the wrong thing. What I have learned is not that Martha was doing the wrong thing by her actions but in her heart. Martha’s means of hospitality and service align with how I serve others best. Martha’s heart was the problem in this story as she was upset with her sister Mary for not helping her prepare food, but instead Mary was sitting under Jesus’s teaching and making Jesus and his disciples feel welcome by just being with them. I can grow and learn to be more like Mary, but I was created more like Martha. I experienced this situation while serving with FCA, but the lesson I was being taught didn’t come to my realization until I heard the sermon in August about Mary and Martha.
These two stories from Judges and of Mary & Martha have taught me two great lessons I hope to put into practice and pursue. This blog helps me with the first one even when I fail to type one up for November (sorry Ash). I’m still figuring out what the third Bible verse/lesson is to fulfill his challenge, but at the moment I am just being patient and trying to eliminate setting expectations, but instead asking God what he has in store for me because God is not disappointed in us because he does not set expectations for us. He accepts us as we are and welcomes us time and time again.
So as I wait to figure out the 3rd Bible verse or relate the expectation setting to a story in the Bible I will finish reading “Abba’s Child” and continue to learn who God wants me to be as my true self and not some worldly expectation I have for myself. I am continuously amazed and astonished by what I am learning in this program and if I don’t have enough material to write a blog for January then I am just not reminiscing enough because this next month is going to be so full I will not have time to breath.
- Tim