Unearthing would be my word for February. God has been calling me to dig up these old memories from my upbringing and start to unpack them. With Lent overlapping with this process, I’ve been able to lament and grieve difficult circumstances from my past. There’s been a ton of growth I’ve witnessed.
First, unearthing softens my heart. Towards myself and towards others. There are a handful of events I’ve witnessed from which my body has protected itself by preventing any sort of emotion to be attached to the memory. Complete apathy. Lately, God has been working to break down some of these walls in the form of unexpected breakdowns. I’ve cried a lot more this month, and that’s a difficult yet good thing. My heart now looks more like God’s heart, holding sadness and anger for things that things that are broken and unrighteous. A softer heart is a more malleable heart: one that God can continue to mold and form into His likeness.
Second, I think unearthing is helping me form a clearer image of who God has made me to be. He uses our experiences to build us into the people He calls us to be. As I look back at these heartbreaks, I can more clearly see the motivations, desires, and callings that the Lord has instilled in me. Often, my false self is trying to persuade me to become something I am not. By remembering my story, I can be more grounded in my true self and where the Lord is taking me.
Third, unearthing is helping me start to look for the seeds of reconciliation God sowed in these moments. Frankly, without ever revisiting these stories, I’ve never considered God was there. With the help of wise counsel, I’ve been encouraged to look back for the redemption that God has sewn into these stories. And seeing God triumph over this darkness continues to strengthen my faith and glorify Him. All praises.
For the love,
Austin