Halfway Done and Feeling Good

Oh December, what to even say!

I suppose since the end of December serves as a sort of halfway point in our time as Fellows, I finally feel like I have fully developed thoughts and opinions about the program. As others have said, I still don’t know that there’s a straightforward way to explain “what a Fellow is,” but there is plenty of room to speak about my experience as one.

Firstly, I am fully convinced that Raleigh Fellows is likely the best group of Fellows you could decide to be in if you were going to sign up for the mild insanity that is a Fellows program. Not that I don’t think there are probably dope people doing programs all over, but I do have to say that in my entirely biased opinion, these are some of the dopest humans around. I genuinely have been so impacted by the way that these other 13 Fellows (plus Ashley and several “honorary Fellows” like Sam, Chris, Eric etc.) balance a deep commitment to and pursuit of the Lord and ALSO make it a point to not take themselves too seriously. It has been incredibly refreshing to be in a context where we can have intense, important, and personal conversations about our walk with Jesus AND laugh at times in prayer when others might deem it inappropriate. I just think that if a group of Christians are going to miss the mark on being too serious or too silly, that this feels like the direction to miss in. I also know that it is not the direction most other groups of Christians (or even Fellows) tend to miss, and I think it makes them less approachable and accessible.

As for the city of Raleigh… sure I like it. I won’t lie and write rave reviews that it is the best place in the U.S. to live, but I really have enjoyed the experience of a new place after the initial shock of adjustment wore down. The reality is that my experience of the city of Raleigh is pretty limited to a few places that I do life in weekly, and while they are special to me, it’s more about the people than the location that makes me love them. On the flip side, this month was the first time since the beginning of October that I got to be back in Michigan and the first time since the program started that I got to be home, and I was honestly curious how much I’d really miss Michigan. I got my answer when, as I was finishing my 12-13 hour drive home for break, I saw the first Michigan license plate with MSU stickers and actually started crying. Then, as I passed the Welcome to Michigan sign in the snow, I teared up all over again. Emotional? Yes. Dramatic? Maybe a little. Yet, there’s something special and important about a place that feels like home, and for me that means snow and freezing temperatures, crappy roads, and the Midwest mentality during the holidays.

There’s plenty more to share about, but I think what likely will speak louder than my ability to share my experiences of other parts of the program is what I am looking forward to most back in Raleigh:

1. My host parents, Marsha and Harry, who are some of the sweetest, most caring and consistent people I know, who I can’t wait to see again.

2. The other Fellows, ARE YOU KIDDING?? I hope you could tell from my blog post that I LOVE those nerds, and I seriously can’t wait to debrief break with everyone. (Special shoutout to our first Girl’s Night back)

3. Work, weirdly enough though I am not necessarily pumped for the work itself, I am actually excited just to catch up with my co-workers and hopefully be a help in catching up on work from the holidays.

4. Tutoring! I didn’t expect to enjoy tutoring with Neighbor 2 Neighbor nearly as much as I do, but I cannot wait to see Tyler again after break!

Basically, there’s lots to look forward to and I am excited to jump back in with people who truly feel like friends and community.

Love,

Emma <3

December blog! -Jenna

Hello everyone, as I reflect on the first part of the fellows program I am just reminded of how good and gracious God is. The lord will provide and man DID he. I remember praying in my shower (sorry tmi) and on my bedroom floor for the lord to place me in a community where I could be myself and feel his presence. I am happy to announce that this has been it. These people and this program has taught me what it means to turn to the Lord first, and wake up and choose to live for the Lord. I am writing this blog from a house I lived in during some of college where some of my best friends still reside and I am thankful that I get to go back to Raleigh and know that these people and Apostles also feel like home. I would like to share some things that I love about each of the fellows:

Ashley: She is boldly herself, unafraid of challenging others to be better, and truly a woman who walks with the Lord.

Emma: She is a voice of reason in the chaos and a breathe of fresh air when I need to decompress. (especially at work, I hope I can do the same for her)

Lola: She is warmth, mystery, and love wrapped up all into one. She is a comfort embodied into human form.

Bailey: Home in a friend. He is solid ground. He is quick to listen and validate, I love talking in the driveway as well (we are neighbors)

Joe: He is passionate about so many things and watching him be excited is one of my favorite things. Joe at the fair is my favorite animal.

AG: She gives what she haves and is such a gentle and kind spirit. I love her hugs and her perspective. She to me is just so cool. I love when AG is in a room!

Celeste: She always brings in a new perspective on every topic and I love it. Her laugh and silliness bring me so much joy, I also like how we have a mutual love to showing up somewhere (mostly church for class or carpooling) and sitting in our cars for a few minutes then getting out. It seems to happen a lot and I like it.

Tessa: When I met Tessa I knew we would be friends, she makes me laugh like no other, she is quick to love and she is FOR THE GIRLS, and I needed a friend like her in Raleigh. Her love for creation (our world and creating her own art) blows me away everyday. She drives me to do better.

Evy: I truly believe we share a heart connection. She gets me! The lord knew I needed evy in my life at just the right time.

Skip: He is wise, and on our walk during prayer partner time I remember noticing how good skip is at asking the right questions and I admire that (and of course his outfits, bro is always fitted up)

Elijah: He is always thirsty for more! Whether that is knowledge, depth with the lord, or going the extra mile on a mod on Mario cart. I just really love that about him.

Bryan: He is down to hangout, and talk about random nothingness or something extremely deep. He is also quick to turn a conversation to the Lord, which is so refreshing. In that he is really good at spreadsheets, which I never expected but he is (pls ask him about it).

Josh: He is a servant, for the Lord and fixing all our cars! I admire how true he is to himself, truly no one else like Josh.

Ryan: I never know whats going through his head and I absolutely love it. He fits the definition of a good friend in so many ways. He is quick to ask questions, make others laugh, lead a plan, and I love it.

Anyways there are not enough words to describe how I love each and everyone of these fellows but I hope this gives a glimpse of how they have invaded my heart.

Recommendations:

• rolled neck sweaters

• listening to the lord

• hanging with the Byrons

• Jared and Megan Miedema (I have missed them so over break) (best host parents)

• laying things at the feet of Jesus (and I mean truly letting it go and letting the lord work, man does it help)

• being around kids, nothing like the laughter of a child or the feeling of holding a baby

• ATVs and my uncle mikes farm in SC

• binge watching the entire Harry Potter series

• blueberry pancake at Waffle House

• pastor nicks trampoline (during the Christmas party)

• learning to love your work

• SECRET SANTA (the fellows did secret Santa, and as my witness former fellow Derren, I had THE most fun)

• espresso martinis

• film camera (its been on a break cause I accidentally did something to it but don’t worry its coming back cause my friend Evan fixed it)

- love you, Jenna :)

My Fourth Blog Post

Hello everyone. Happy New Year’s Day Two to all who celebrate. I think I’m retiring from all New Year’s Eve festivities for the foreseeable future. I just can’t hang anymore. I had pretty big aspirations to write a meaningful Christmas blog. My plan was to talk about the lyrics of this song called “Baby Son” by John Mark McMillan, and then relate them to a lovely message that Elijah shared with the youth ministry the other day regarding the humility of Jesus. Unfortunately—albeit tragically on brand of myself—I missed the due date of that Christmas blog by about a week. This isn’t even remotely close to the latest I have submitted an assignment (that record belongs to my EdTPA rough draft submission two months after the due date), but I figured I would decide on a new topic for my blog since not many people are ‘tis-ing the season anymore. My new topic is actually gonna spark up a little bit of controversy… real quick sidebar though. I did a google search for “Baby Son” to make sure I spelled the artist’s name correctly, only to discover that such a google search results exclusively in stock pictures of babies. I figured that was worth sharing before I got into it.

My heart belongs in Boone and I don’t like Raleigh. There I said it. That’s my big secret. I’m sorry to all the loyal Raleigh fans out there. Please don’t take it personally, I’m just not a big city guy. I understand that there are way bigger cities out there, but for a guy that has Davie County in his blood, Boone on his mind, and Utopia Texas on his résumé (do a little google search on Utopia Texas after you do my “Baby Son” experiment), there’s a little too much going on in Raleigh for me. Though the aforementioned statement I made is genuine, I have no malicious intent towards the Raleigh faithful. I just needed a good segway to talk about God’s favorite pla- I mean my favorite place in the whole wide world. I actually just got back from Boone yesterday. I was with my friends celebrating New Year’s Eve a couple days ago (for the last time ever I guess since I retired in the first paragraph). Though it was fun and eventful, I’m actually going to talk about this past Sunday… in which I was also in Boone. I had been wanting to visit the church I attended while I was in college, so I decided to drive up for the day and spend some time with my friends Barrett, Libby, Gracie, and Meg (Meg Spickard, Fellows Class of 2024 and avid pickleballer, you know the one).  

I made it just in time for the church service (4 mins late), and afterwards I got a chance to catch up with my friends Vern and Matt. Vern is the pastor of Boone United Methodist and Matt was my spiritual mentor while I was in college. Those two guys poured into me way more than I have time to write about, but just know that they mean a lot to me. After church, my friends and I got lunch at Comeback Shack. I was a WyldLife leader at Green Valley School for three years while I was in Boone, and I saw one of the guys I led while we were eating. His name’s Brayden and he’s now a freshman in high school. He has grown a lot taller and his voice has gotten a lot deeper (I don’t know who let him get away with that but it’s whatever I guess). It truly was a blessing seeing him, even if it was only for a minute. After we ate we went to Blowing Rock to dilly dally for some time. While we were dallying–just after dillying–Barrett asked me to be one of his Groomsmen. This was actually the highlight of my year, but don’t worry I’m playing it cool (but also if you wanna know more about it let me know because I’d love to share). Following this sweet moment, we ended our evening at Vern’s house, spending our last couple hours in Boone together with him and his family.

It was the best two hours of the entire day. Six out of the seven Collins family members joined in with me and my four friends. According to my calculations, that comes out to be eleven people total. No I did not show my work. Anyways, we had eleven people around a table that can only sit seven comfortably, and there was no place I would have rather been. We talked about what felt like everything, but my favorite thing we talked about was Sonic 3. I say “we” very loosely because really only I talked about it, but it came out in December and is actually incredible so y’all should go watch it (after seeing Sonic 1 and Sonic 2 of course). Our topic of conversation doesn’t really matter. More importantly I want to zoom in on the picture of eleven people gathered around the dinner table. They’re not family. Well, not all of them are family, but they might as well be. There’s a lot of joy on their faces. Some of them are enjoying the cheese, ritz crackers, and peanuts that were provided as the evening's hors d'oeuvres (for sure had to look that word up). Others are belly laughing at a comment made. When I think of that picture, I think of everything that I’ve left behind, and It’s part of the reason I cherish Boone so deeply.

But, for everything that I have in Boone, I feel as though it’s been multiplied in Raleigh. Many of my friends have asked me what I love most about the Raleigh Fellows program, and my answer is always the same: the people I’m doing it with and the church that we’re a part of. Upon moving to Raleigh, I had a hard time explaining to people what it means to be a “Fellow” (if anyone’s figured it out let me know). From my point of view, the reason it’s so hard to explain is because it doesn’t make sense to have sought after things such as loving community and wise leadership handed to you so seamlessly. It’s hard to paint that picture clearly for people. Now, that’s not the all encompassing embodiment of what a “Fellow” is, but I think it’s the most polarizing characteristic of it all. To be the beneficiary of something like that is truly a gift, and back in August, I wasn’t aware of how much of a gift it would be. Now, at the halfway point of the Fellows year, I’m starting to fully understand just how rare and special it is, and it’s something I’m very grateful for. I know I’ve only been a Fellow for four months, but I used to be a Fellow for zero days, so gratefulness feels appropriate.

Boone will always be better than Raleigh though don’t even get it twisted.

My song recommendation for this blog post is “Baby Son” by- actually, if you don’t remember from the first paragraph just google “Baby Son” and you’ll figure it out.

Love, Bailey

RALLOWS MONTH 4: Memories

Hi, I am at home sitting next to my cat right now and thinking a lot. Thinking a lot about how two weeks is too long to be away from all the fellows. Thinking a lot about how I can’t believe we finished the first semester. Thinking a lot about how we are all thinking a lot about post-fellows plans. Thinking a lot about how I figured life would all be downhill after college, and thank heavens that’s not the case. Thinking a lot about how freaking awesome these past four months have been and how I have way too much to write about in my journal. And also thinking about my razor scooter I got for Christmas. But most of all thinking about little memories with each fellow that I will cherish and thank the Lord for as often as I remember to.

Here’s a little memory with each fellow from this first semester…

Joe: I had the honor of being Joe’s secret santa and it was so much fun. I gathered little notes from people who love Joe and it was so ~ tender ~ to see how loved Joe is. Thank you for pretending like you didn’t already know I was your secret santa and always being so tender.

Skip: Remember that time we were cutting vegetables and chicken in the kitchen the first week of knowing each other? Yeah, that was lit. I figured that night that I would like to be your friend. Thank you for appreciating the bot that I am, as I appreciate the bot you are.

Celeste: One rainy morning before class, Celeste and I went to get breakfast at some random breakfast place and just spent time catching up. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I have always had a friend crush on Celeste. Thank you for being you.

Bailey: Bailey and I tend to enjoy a good teacher workday (meaning we are the only ones in the whole school and we get to laminate and cut stuff and draw stuff all day). And one time we got to deliver presents all around Raleigh and that was a highlight of the semester. Thank you for enduring the post office with me.

Emma: I bet Emma already knows the exact memory I am thinking of. I will never forget that time sitting in the back of the car and laughing the hardest I have laughed all four months. Oh and by the way, tell your cat I said pssst pssst pssst. Thank you for always getting my humor and making me laugh.

Tessa: Yeah we are gym bros no big deal. Going to the Y with Tessa was something I would look forward to each week. It’s a space where we could get real (and also jacked and so fit). Don’t tell anyone about how we haven’t gone in the past month or maybe two. Thank you for being real.

Ryan: Ryan loves Pokemon and we love Ryan. We’ve ripped a ton of packs this semester (pokemon cards) and it has been a joy. Thank you for making me download the game and always being so fun to be around.

Bryan: Bryan was my ultimate fake secret santa. Emphasis on the fake. Bryan had me thinking he was my secret santa the whole time. But he did make me a margarita and I will never forget that. Thank you for being so thoughtful.

Jenna: One night Jenna and I decided to read a book for class together aloud. As we were standing in the kitchen taking turns reading, I took a picture of her reading because I was so thankful for that moment and the fact that we get to be friends and I wanted to remember it forever. Thank you for loving Glee and loving me.

AG: My sweetest memory with AG was when we were watching Inside Out 2 with our 6th-grade girls. I remember sitting there, outside on a blanket in the cold with popcorn and giggling girls, and thinking how there is no one else I would rather lead this group with. Thank you for being full of all things sweet.

Lola: Well I happen to have a ton of epic memories with Lola because we live together!! If I had to choose one it would be teeth brushing parties every night but also knitting with you in the big comfy chairs. Thank you for being a source of comfort and ease.

Josh: There was this one time we went on a prayer partner walk and stood on the bridge watching the ducks and geese in the water. I know I’ve talked about this on my blog before but it was really so special I have to mention it again. Thank you for all the duck calls that scares me every time. And thanks for fixing my car.

Elijah: Me and Elijah have a shared love for Mariokart. And I am looking forward to making a new memory of finally playing Mariokart together. But as for a memory already shared, I will always appreciate the time at AG’s house after class where we continued talking about what we talked about in class. Thank you for always being curious and down to discuss.

Ashley: I think every time Ashley hugs me I seal it into my cherished memories forever. Ashley gives the best hugs. And the last class we had before the break, she gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. I’ll always remember that little memory. Thank you for your hugs and warmth.

I sure am glad to be a Raleigh Fellow with these guys. Thank you all for a beautiful first semester. And see you in another week.

This month I recommend: appreciating how awesome cousins are, razor scooters (and riding them with your cousins), gingerbread tabernacles, my cat named Macie, live nativities, Charlie Brown, and “I Love” by Tom T. Hall.

Evy

Fellows Blog 4! Christmas Galore

December was a time of refreshment and joy

After a very long November (and a 3rd blog written whilst half awake) Advent was a lovely change of pace. Taking intentional time to meditate on the fragility, humility, and profound “humanness” of the Christmas story helped me come to grips with my own limitations. Sometimes I think we experience the most growth in busy seasons that feel dry, but fail to recognize it simply because we don’t have time to process our feelings and experiences. This can make fellows difficult, where sometimes every month feels like a year, but December gave me time to reflect to recognize all that God has done. I think having to navigate all the new relationships fellows requires brought up unhealed insecurities in me I thought I had dealt with. It made me realize how much I often assume others won’t like me and reject myself despite being invited somewhere, how I avoid conflict and suppress my emotions in the name of being productive and moving forward, and find comfort in validation of others rather than in what God says about me. Gods reveals our hurts so that we can confess them and then he will heal us, but confession is that crucial step that many are too afraid to cross over. Honesty, both with God and community has been a major blessing to me as of late. Thank you Jesus for your willingness to expose what I would prefer to hide.

On a less serious note December was a ton of fun. Some of what I loved included

The endless Christmas parties

Pastoral care visits with sweet older ladies who tell me about their grandkids

Watching movies and sharing stories at guys nights

Random theological conversations in the middle of a Christmas dinner (yes this is my idea of fun)

The return of prayer partners

Spending the nights playing Spiderman (Christmas video game sales are amazing)

Ryan driving the lift to hang Christmas decorations in the sanctuary

The most AMAZING secret Santa game I have ever had the pleasure to participate in

Continuing to the learn how to cook!

And so much more

In addition Christmas break with my family has been great! God gave me lots of opportunities this year to share the gospel with much of my extended family, which would normally make me nervous but this year felt quite natural. I got some pretty great gifts, ate awesome food (shout out to my aunts jalapeno poppers), caught up with friends and family, and overall felt very refreshed and encouraged

Until next time

Elijah

Merry Christmas!! Happy New Year!!

Happy almost new year!! 

Oh the things I could write about in December. Probably my favorite month so far.

I started the month back in my hometown of College Station, Texas!!! (gig ‘em forever, horns down, whoop, farmers fight, you guys know the drill by now) It was my first time back since starting the program, and it was maybe my favorite weekend of my life. If you took a shot every time I said “this is the best weekend ever!!” well… you’d be unwell. I arrived in College Station at 10pm on Friday where I immediately went to my old college house to surprise two of my roommates (the other three knew I was coming!) I’ve never done a surprise homecoming before (I’ve literally lived in College Station my whole life…) but WOW it shall not be my last one!! Tears!! Hugs!! Screaming and jumping up and down!! Oh how I missed shmack shack!! A place I was known and loved, where I twinned with my roommates, watched a million movies on our hand-me-down couch, hosted parties and threw pickles over the roof, chased racoons out of our ceiling, had first-date debriefs late at night, screamed over cockroaches in the kitchen, made & ate meals together, and chased our dog around the neighborhood when he’d jump over the fence. Side note, the air in College Station is so soft. I can’t explain it any other way than that, but I simultaneously hate it and love that it’s so different from anywhere else I’ve been. (I can only say I love it now that I don’t live there anymore. I resented it so much when I was there). Saturday was full of more people and family Thanksmas fun and spinning under the giant Christmas tree in central park and riding the Aggie Spirit Bus again (fun fact I used to be a bus driver) and ahhhh it was so good!! BUT moving ahead to Sunday, I ran the Bryan/College Station half marathon!! The reason I was in town again!! I remember last December I knew I was moving to Raleigh, so I told myself I would move mountains if needed to be able to come back this year to run it. Partly as an excuse to come back since I knew it would be tricky during the holidays, but mostly as a way to say goodbye and honor the town that raised me and formed me into who I am today. What better way to say goodbye than to run through the major streets of town and add a new medal to my collection!! To make a good thing even better, one of my favorite people in the world got into running this year so I got to run the race with her :’’’’))) (biggg shoutout to alyssa, the “a” in shmack shack, and my ultimate twin!! If you guys think I’m loud now… you haven’t seen anything until you have the two of us together in a room. So sorry to our old neighbors and roommates, we were a lot.) We ran! We laughed! We screamed! We cried a little!! We did the dang thing!!

I had a flight back to Raleigh shortly after the race, so truly it was a quick trip. But I left feeling SO refreshed, and reminded of how beautiful life is!

Remember how I mentioned how often I said “this is the best weekend ever!!”? Well what I didn’t mention was that it was almost always followed by an equally as enthusiastic “I’m never moving here again!!” NOT because I hate the town, not because I left feeling like I had no one there for me, not because I didn’t have a wonderful time growing up and going to college there. I hope my chaotic description of my weekend conveyed the complete opposite.

Somehow it seems two things can be true at once. I can love and appreciate College Station and all of my favorite people in it and feel sentimental and nostalgic of my life there. AND I can also dream of a life just as beautiful in a new place where it’s not suffocatingly humid and has wayyy more outdoor activities than just Lick Creek Park to walk around (iykyk) and is just plain different from where I grew up. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why I feel the need to leave “home” and family in Texas and come to Raleigh. I don’t quite know why I feel drawn away to a completely new place with no intention of going back. If you have any thoughts on how someone decides where to “settle” down and live, I’m open to your ideas! But for now, I’m thankful for this semester and the coming months where I’ve found a new home away from the one I’ve known my whole life. For a new church community where I’ve experienced worship in a new way. For a new city with an abundance of new coffee shops and breweries to explore! For families who have welcomed me into their homes and fed me and cared for me and shown me what they love about this place they call home. And for an EPIC group of friends to explore this new city with and who even at this very second when we are all away from each other on winter break are still blowing up the group chat. I MISS YOU GUYS COME BACK SOON!! Crazy how we’re halfway done :’)

I think I’ve yapped way longer than you bargained for. And I only talked about the first weekend in December!! To make a long story short, the rest of December was also wonderful. Some quick honorable mentions:

• Movie night at Chris and Pauline’s house - anyone else bawl their eyes out watching “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse”?

• Went to a Canes game! (but we lost and no one got in a fight, so really what was the point?)

• A plethora of Christmas parties. Truly so many.

• Was a camel with Lola for the live nativity… Up for debate who had it worse in that costume but so worth it haha!

• Homemade Lantern Festival at the NC Museum of Art with Skip and AG. The most wholesome thing ever?? I highly recommend if you’ve never gone.

• Finally made it out to Durham to see Duke! SO pretty

• Our Old Testament projects HA

• Spent Christmas in NYC with my family! Had my first white Christmas!!

• Bagels in NYC, need I say more?

• Took a train back to Raleigh from NYC, very demure

• ANDDD I’m going to watch the acorn drop on New Year’s Eve!! Could December get any better??

2024 was one of my favorite years yet. I’ve said that every year for the past several years now, so BUCKLE UP 2025 is about to go crazy.

OKAY BYE.

Celeste

Joe's blog pt 3

Hello world its Joe.

November was a special month filled with lots of new experiences. Every weekend I was in a different place-Wilmington, Washington DC, Nicaragua, Asheville. In honor of it being thanksgiving the other week I am going to express what I’ve been thankful for in the month of November.

Wilmington- In Wilmington, the fellow guys attended Apostles mens retreat. I am thankful for the men who sought to befriend me. I am thankful for Mark Hall and the other dads that took Skip and I kite flying. Also, I am grateful for the time I got to spend with the boys.

Washington DC- In DC, the fellows attended the national TFI conference. After being at the conference I was reminded how thankful I am for each of the Raleigh fellows. Not that I wasn’t previously thankful for them, but being in their company during those days reminded me of how sweet friendships can be. I also am thankful for the US! That was my first time at our nations capital and it was pretty sick. It was humbling seeing all the memorials and statues that show our history.

Nicaragua- In Nicaragua, Coburn helped lead a trip for all of us. I am thankful for his leadership and his willingness to make this trip happen. I am thankful for partner @Luis. I miss him and I look forward to seeing him in the future. Throughout the trip the children had my heart and so I would be amiss if I were to not mention how thankful I am for them. They were so much fun to be around and I’m thankful God had our lives cross paths for a few days.

Asheville- In Asheville, I got to celebrate thanksgiving with family. It was nice being home for a few days as I got to rest from such a busy month. Though I don’t live in Asheville currently, I am so grateful for the city and the people and places it has given me.

Third month's the charm

Wow….

November was a whirlwind of a month. 2 retreats, my first ever mission trip, and thanksgiving break meant that every weekend had something new in store. Safe to say there was a reason this blog came out 6 days after it was due

This isn’t to say that November was bad. Quite the opposite in fact. Its just one of those months that I’ll have to process and reflect on for the rest of the program. I’m the kind of person that lives in my head a lot. If you ever ask me what’s been occupying my mind recently, and really want to listen, prepare for an entire improvised podcast of a response. If I say nothing, that probably means I’ve been moving too fast to consciously be aware of what’s been on my mind. For the Nicaragua trip alone, my mentor asked my to type a reflection on my experience and it ended up being 10 pages long double spaced, or about the length of an average college essay. Even that felt short winded for all God has been teaching me, challenging me, and encouraging me this past month. Its been stressful, but that’s a good thing. I’ve been pushed to love deeper than I am comfortable with, start conversations when I’m afraid meet new friends, listen without judgment when I’ve been convinced my own way is better, and leave behind my sense of autonomy over my life trusting that God has been holding me through it all. So forgive me for this abnormally short blog, but I need more time to think things over with the Lord. I’m not quite in the stage where I can put words all that I’m feeling, but I know that God is stirring something, and I’m excited to see what it is.

-Elijah

Better Late Than Never...tehe:)

I needed an extra 5 days to write my blog because this month was just so eventful I needed to process!!! (I forgot and everyone is yelling at me).

There really is so much to say about November, I think it’s best to bullet point.

Highlights:

• Driving with Skip to DC, we were the only two that had to drive separately due to work conflicts. Skip is an easy and comfortable presence to be around. I respect him and his insights a great deal.

• Seeing the young girl I do after school tutoring with at Neighbor 2 Neighbor be proud of herself and gain the courage to ask questions. Please pray that Kelly would never know a day apart from the Father, never doubt her inherent value or her intelligence, and that I would be source of peace and encouragement for her. Pray that she uses the distinct voice God has given her. In our limited time together, she has made a lasting impact on me. I am honored to be someone whom she feels safe enough to speak to and share her opinion with, it is not easy for her to do.

• Nicaragua. I heard the Spirit really audibly during this trip. He never says what I think He’ll say. His responses are always kinder, wiser, more patient, gentler, than what I deserve or assume He’d say.

• Something in me broke during Nicaragua. I am always striving to be stronger and live in fear of any cracks or breaks in my armor. But God is breaking down the house I have built within myself. It is freeing.

Lowlights:

• I am becoming more and more aware of how little grace I have for myself.

• I chipped my tooth while eating rice. Yes cooked rice, and frankly I’m offended that people keep asking me if it was raw. Hello??

• My spotify wrapped. No questions at this time thanks.

• I keep trying to put shackles that God has freed me from back on (I know this contradicts my last highlight, I don’t know what to tell ya about that)

• I have not been warm since we touched down in Raleigh and unlike the apostles I do not handle suffering gracefully. My shivering is about to be everybody’s problem in a big way.

November! long but also short!

HEY!!

Alot happened this month!

I turned 22! (whoop whoop)

We went to nicaragua! We served, we prayed, and we even did a little ziplining. I was in nicaragua in March and had no idea I would be back but the lord likes to surprise us in that way! I loved going back and seeing the same country from a completely different perspective. I was much more prayerful and present during this trip! I was able to see these people more closely and I loved sharing this expiernce with all the fellows and CHRIS BYRON and ERIC BOLASH. Truly the highlight of my trip was getting to know these incredibly wise and patient men (Sam Crutchfield is also included in this but I already knew he had all of these traits). Getting to work, eat, and even play along side them was a breath of fresh air!

Thanksgiving happened! I went home for the first time since moving to Raleigh and it made me so thankful for how at home I feel here, Shoutout Apostles because I was so excited to be at church I drove up sunday morning just to be here!

Recommendations:

• Insulted jackets that arent puffers

• coffee cups without handles

• bluelight glasses

• wearing flipflips

• lululemon align wide leg pants (i bought them on black friday and havent stopped wearing them oops)

• walks with Derren around the building at NeighborHealth (shoutout to Derren, Shes my blogs biggest fan :)) (she has reminded me to post this 4 times)

• SECRET SANTA Elfing (we each have a fellow secret santa and we are basically just loving eachother through gifts this month) (also this is the first time ive had to keep a secret from my fellows and its so HARD!)

MUSIC Recommendations:

• The musician Waylon Jennings

• West Texas Wind by NEEDTOBREATHE (campire sessions)

• scarecrow in the garden by chris stapleton

• and my NUMBER ONE on SPORTIFY WRAPPED …….SNOW ANGEL by RENEE RAPP (.01% top listener)

Thank you for reading (derren),

Jenna!

Ryan's November blog

Hello! This month has been long and full of many things… also I’m late posting my blog so I’m going to get to the point of what has happened this month.

First, my friend Kevin got married! It was so wonderful to seem them so happy. Gracie and I drove to Richmond and got to see a bunch of our friends there including the milkmen. MMMM

Second, the day after the wedding I went to Wilmington for the Apostles Men’s Retreat (the Fellow’s church). It was hectic but oh my gosh it was some of the most fun i’ve had in awhile. About 30 men ranging from the ages of 22-40 played football for almost 3 hours. My team didn’t do the best but it felt special.

Third, the fellows went to DC for a conference with TFI which is the organization the houses all the fellows programs. We just had fun.

Fourth, I went to JMU to help the brothers initiate the beta class of BYX at JMU. It was actually so life giving to see these young men get brought into something that I know God is working so heavily in. The brothers did such a great job this semester building the pledges up.

Fifth, the fellows flew to Nicaragua to help out some communities there. These people ended up blessing us way more than we could ever bless them. A lot to say about this trip, a lot that God has and is doing there.

Sixth, missing my family for thanksgiving but so excited to see them for Christmas. It was so sweet to spend the weekend with Gracie and her family who just got a new puppy! I love them and am very grateful that they have accepted me into their family. We shot guns and ate a lot of food!

My job has been very life giving and Ive enjoyed my responsibilities a lot!

Some side notes: Kendrick album is AOTY. Pokemon TCG Pocket is magical.

OKay bye. Ryan McKean

Better Late Than Never

Yes yes, I realize I am a bit late with my November post, but by my count I am still not the latest of my class of fellows (unless they all post while I’m typing), so I am going to count that as a win in my book.

November has been the most jam-packed month we’ve had so far I’d say, and ironically it has felt like the first time I could really breathe since moving south. Much like some of my “fellow fellows” have said, it was an incredible month. November was marked by adventure, intentionality, increased confidence, and important questions. Between carpooling to DC where we may have laughed a bit too much at inappropriate times during the conference, to praying with and serving others in Nicaragua, to getting left in the Miami airport on our way home (shoutout Bailey, Elijah and Chris who got left with me), there have been innumerable spaces where I have tangibly felt my connections to the 13 other incredible humans in this program deepen and grow (plus Ashley, Sam, Chris, and Eric of course).

In addition to the growth I have felt with the other Fellows, November was also a month marked by learning with the Lord. Though, as per usual, the lesson I have been learning is nothing groundbreaking or new, it felt like the first time I’d really considered it. I feel as though God has been challenging me to dream more with Him. For context, I tend to be someone who thinks about the future a fair amount, and though I don’t consider myself a rigid planner, I typically have some imagination for what’s next for me. However, where I have felt the challenge has been in dreaming about how beautiful things could be if they go the opposite direction of where I think they will. For example, it’s easy for me to dream about my life post-fellows, back in Michigan, living with my best friend and working while doing ministry. What’s harder is dreaming about alternatives that would be beautiful; where I instead stay in North Carolina, or do something entirely different with next year. It’s easy for me to dream about a future by myself or only with close friends, radically pursuing God’s calling on my life while free from obligations to many others. It’s more difficult to dream of a beautiful future that includes me being married or having to compromise for a family. Yet, God is teaching me the importance of dreaming about the incredible ways He could use EITHER or BOTH scenarios.

I think this practice of dreaming more than one beautiful possibility with God is an incredible way to avoid putting Him in a box. Also, I can already see how dreaming about the awesome ways God could use things I maybe don’t want right now is setting me up to avoid future discontentment. It’s harder to be disappointed if you have learned to dream about multiple outcomes, and it’s easier to understand people with different dreams after you try dreaming them yourself.

Takeaway: DREAM MORE WITH GOD! (and not just about the things you want)

-Emma <3

My Third Blog Post

This month the fellows went to Washington DC, Nicaragua, and Wilmington if you’re a boy. A lot happened in November, a lot of really good things. I have frequently referred to November of 2024 as one of the best months of my life (and I genuinely believe that). Though I have so many things to potentially write about, I’m going to write this blog post about November 27th, which many of you know as ~Wednesday~. November 27th is a fitting day for me to write about because it’s exactly one month away from October 27th, which is when I was still in Texas from my last blog post. Since it’s exactly a month away, it means that I can include my Texas trip in one of the best months of my life: November 2024 (I don’t make the rules). Any who…

I woke up at 7:00 AM on November 27th. I went back to sleep and woke up again at 9:00 AM, and this time I woke up feeling dangerous (not actually, I just wanted to throw a Baker Mayfield quote in this blog post). I started my day by heading over to Beow’s Books and Brews with Evy, Elijah, Josh, Sam Crutchfield, and Charles. Out of the six of us, three work at RDG and three don’t. I’ll let you decide which of the six are RDG employees. I sat down at the table beside Charles. I had never met Charles before, so when I sat down, Sam Crutchfield kindly introduced us to each other by saying “Charles this is Bailey, Bailey this is Charles.” My grandpa’s name is Charles Bailey, so my brain immediately crunched the numbers: Charles + Me = My Grandpa. After I ran the calculations and came up with a pretty convincing solution, I turned to Charles and said “hey, my grandpa’s name is Charles Bailey.” My new friend Charles tried his hardest to make me feel like that was a normal thing to say to him at that given moment. And Charles, if you’re reading this, thank you for that (also, if you are for some reason reading this, hey Charles).

After roughly two hours of pretending to be an RDG employee, I left Beow’s to say goodbye to the Young’s before they left for Thanksgiving. With a handful of brief goodbyes and a quick hug from Mary (thank GOODNESS), I went to my friend Tristan’s house. He was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch as I pulled into his driveway. We sat there and talked for two and a half hours. We talked about a lot, but not too much. Never too much. After our stint on the porch, we made our way inside to hangout with his family. We were accompanied by his dad, his mom, and his sister. Tristan’s dad’s name is Bill. I get breakfast with Bill every other week, and we just chat. It was fun to hangout with Tristan and Bill at the same time. It was one of the first times I had been at a college friend’s house. A couple days after Thanksgiving, Tristan texted me saying that it was also the first time one of his college friends had been to his house. I was really glad he texted me that, because in my head, that was his way of saying that it meant as much to him as it did to me. And it meant a lot to me. I wished them a happy Thanksgiving and left to pick up Skip for supper (it’s supper, not dinner).

Skip and I went to Masala House. I would love to say that Indian food is good, but I have only had Indian food two times, and each time I ordered chicken tikka masala. Because of this, I feel unqualified to say that Indian food is good. Chicken tikka masala is good though. Skip and I had quite an interesting time at Masala house. We were served by four different waiters, each of them having their own awkward–yet endearing–idiosyncrasies. A different time I got supper with Skip, he ordered a coke. I had told him that I wanted a coke, and he responded to me by saying “just get one, you’ve earned it.” So I did. I have since adopted the idea of earning a coke every time I want a coke, so I also got a coke at Masala House (I don’t think the “earned coke” philosophy is always the best application, but at least I’m consistent). My Masala House coke was served in a can, accompanied by a Carolina Panthers glass and a bendy straw. Solemnly sipping my bendy straw coke, Skip and I conversed about many different things. Occasionally, one of the four waiters would stop by and ask if we were still eating. The funny thing was, instead of saying “are you still eating?” they would say “continue?” as if we had just reached a checkpoint in the fine dining video game. It eventually got to the point that we could no longer continue (I guess we beat the game), and we asked for the check. As we were paying for our food, we noticed a middle-aged couple angrily addressing Masala House’s night shift host. One of our four waiters (I hate that we didn’t get any of their names) was explaining to us that the couple was mad at them for some reason. I thought it was funny that he was telling two completely unrelated customers this, but as I was thinking, Skip said to our waiter “it’s okay, we would never be mad at you.”

Honestly, I just wanted to write this blog about my friend Skip, so I’m sorry for wasting your time up to this point. One of my favorite things about Skip is his ability to reassure others and show them love in ordinary circumstances. This is not the first time I’ve witnessed Skip address someone in this way. Every time I’ve noticed it, I believe what he says. I genuinely believe that he wouldn’t get mad at any waiter, but that’s not the point. Skip and I probably won’t see any of the members from our waiter quartet ever again, at least not for some time. The truth is, it doesn’t matter whether or not Skip would get mad at him, because he probably won’t have the chance even if he wanted to. But in that very moment, Skip decided to–in the simplest yet most powerful terms–care for our waiter in a loving way. I hope that’s not the first time our waiter’s been reassured that someone won’t be mad at him, but the harsh reality is that it maybe was the first time he’s been told that, and it makes me think of the other people Skip has loved in that way. It’s one of the many things I admire about my friend Skip.

We left Masala House and drove back to Skip’s house, laughing about stories that I’m not gonna type. I actually already typed this blog post once but forgot to save it. Whoops. After dropping off Skip, I drove to my childhood home in Davie County while listening to Kendrick Lamar and Christmas music. I don’t know how I made the jump from Kendrick Lamar rapping about the West Coast to Michael Bublé telling his girlfriend that it’s too cold outside, but I did. And with that, my day ended. November 27th, 2024.

Since it’s Christmas time, my song recommendation is Penny and Sparrow’s cover of “Away in a Manger”. There’s this wicked whistling harmony portion at the end of the song that really gets me goin’. My friend Henry refers to Penny and Sparrow as “coin and bird” and that always makes me chuckle.

If you run into Eric Bolash, for the love of God ask him about Slab Tuesday.

Love, Bailey

November!!

Hey blog! Happy December 1st to all who celebrate!

Growing up, December 1st was the day my family would bring down Christmas decorations from the attic. The house would suddenly transform from having scarecrows and cornucopias laying around to having a Christmas tree, stockings, and a nativity scene on the mantle. Living in Texas, this was the biggest marking of the transition from Fall to Winter. But this year, I saw snow on December 1st.

YOU’RE JOKING. 

Maybe this feels like a random thing to include in my blog about November, but honestly it felt magical to me. Is that dramatic? Absolutely. But when I think back on November, I remember dramatic belly laughs & jumping up and down with sheer excitement & being silly just to be silly & oh how known I've felt this month! Truly, these moments have the same magical feeling as seeing snow today!!

November was an adventurous month. We went to DC! And Nicaragua! And saw friends & family for Thanksgiving! It was exciting! confusing! beautiful! emotional! 

Simultaneously, I’m reading a book called “Silence” about Jesuit missionaries who go to rural Japan and face intense persecution. Throughout the book, there is a theme of God’s silence in the lives of so many faithful believers. In the part of the book I’m at, the main character (a priest) has just been captured by Japanese officials and is awaiting imminent suffering and death unless he aposticizes. The priest reflects on the countless lives of missionaries and Christians who have faced martyrdom before him, and the decades it has seemed God has turned his face from this land. In his own life, He can’t remember the last time he heard the Lord speak to him. After a lifetime devoted to learning about God, he now finds himself wondering if God even exists. 

I haven’t finished the book yet. I can’t tell you what conclusion, if any, the priest reaches, or what his fate will be. But my overview of November wouldn’t be complete without an homage to the unanswered questions I’ve had this month. So here is my homage. I don’t know all that I wish I knew, and often that feels like silence from the Lord. Maybe it is. Maybe I’m just not listening. 

If I was more poetic, I would tie this all together with a list of all the moments that literally made me bounce up and down with uncontained joy from the feeling of being seen, known, and cared for by the people who make Raleigh home in the midst of confusion and heaviness, and you guys would walk away teary-eyed and thankful for the people in your own lives in a new way. Unfortunately, I’m not poetic, and my list wouldn’t mean much to you. (Don’t worry, I still wrote my list, just in a different place.) 

What I will say is that I’m deeply thankful to be at Apostles. It has been so neat to experience faith in a new way than I grew up with. To have the freedom to just be. To know leaders like Eric and Ashley and Sam and Chris who have taught me so much just from the way they live. I am forever grateful!! 

Until next month,

 Celeste

(Okay also the Aggies played TU yesterday for the first time in 13 years. I got to watch with my dearest Aggie friends in Knoxville, and GUYS being able to sing “saw varsity’s horns off” HITS DIFFERENT when we’re actually playing tu!!! Talk about screaming and jumping up and down!! GIG EM AND HORNS DOWN FOREVERRRR)

November Fun Fellows Flicks

HEYYY BLOG!!!

Phew! This month was a busy one. I celebrated five birthdays, went to the TFI National Conference, learned my Myers-Briggs Personality type (ESFJ), took a trip to Nicaragua, celebrated Thanksgiving, and watched South Carolina beat Clemson. I made so many memories, laughed a lot, and took some pictures to prove it! The shared album currently has 1,337 pictures and 139 videos. This month comes with the creation of two new albums: Nicaragua 2024 (592 pictures and 93 videos) and Nicaragua Zip Lining (177 pictures and 81 videos).

<3, AG

IS JOE TENDER???

Joe went to Nicaragua, fell in love, became best friends with all the kids, played checkers with a random dude in the market, and almost didn’t make it on the plane to Miami. Although many don’t fully understand the ways of Joseph Scarborough, all can agree that he is awesome at connecting with people! I would say Joe is tender, but the tenderness comes with a side of fake punches and “shut up” comments.

WHO DRIVIN THIS BUUUSSSS?

Bet you didn’t know that we had a Fellow who has her CDL. Celeste is so cool and this makes her even cooler. As a college bus driver for Texas A&M, she was more than qualified to drive our 15-passenger van around Bethesda one night! She may have only seen the inside of a limousine once (in a Buccees beaver costume) but she has put in her hours behind the wheel of a bus! Thanks for being a great driver Celeste!!!

Raleigh Rookie: Episode 3

Oh November… you were a lot for me.

This month has been really great. The fellows traveled to Wilmington, Washington DC, and Nicaragua. I don’t have the time to share all I’ve learned over all those miles, but I’ll give a few highlights.

1. I kicked off the month in Wilmington for our church men’s retreat. Honestly, it was probably the best weekend of my fellows career. Joe and I were lucky enough to catch an invite to the beach during some free time. To set the scene: picture me and Joe on Wrightsville Beach, flying kites with four dads. And I’m not talking about just any kind of kite flying—this was *advanced* kite flying, and it was way more fun than I ever could’ve imagined. As I get older, it feels like opportunities to just play get fewer and farther between. So, it was a gift to be present and have fun.

What really stood out to me that day, though, was how much I could see that friendship is a gift—something totally God given. When I first moved to Raleigh, I had a tough time leaving behind my close friends in Georgia. I felt like the deep friendships I had in college were something I’d never find again (dramatic, I know). But watching the men who took us to the beach, sharing laughter, embarrassment, and honesty, reminded me so much of the friendships I had back in school. It was a moment of clarity for me: just because life takes new turns doesn’t mean everything you’ve known is lost. Maybe it’s just changed into something new—something better suited for where you are now.

So, to the dads who made that day so special, thank you. You guys inspire me more than you know.

2. On the work front, life continues to stretch me in new ways, and I’m really grateful for the team around me. They’ve been a huge support, sharing insights and wisdom to help me grow, both personally and professionally. One of my biggest growth moments this month came when I led our morning staff devotion. I had signed up for the day after Election Day—definitely not realizing the heightened emotion that day would carry for people. I’ll admit, I was nervous leading a group of people older than me.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about the devotion itself—my nerves pretty much wiped out my memory of the whole thing. But as I left work that day, I realized I was proud of myself. And I learned to set a new standard for myself: my only expectation is that I try. Sometimes that’s all I can do. But as long as I’m showing up and giving my best, I’m doing okay.

Looking back on all that’s happened this month, I can’t help but feel thankful. There have been moments of growth, deep reflection, and a reminder of the importance of friendship. It’s been a lot, but it’s been good. Here’s to finishing out the year strong, and hopefully more opportunities to learn along the way!

-Skip

November Blog - Bryan

Howdy folks!

November was a jam-packed month full of good memories. We had the men’s retreat, national conference in D.C., our trip to Nicaragua, and Thanksgiving! I’ll list some highlights from the month real quick:

• Playing football at the men’s retreat in Wilmington

• hanging out and reconnecting with my 3rd grade bestie, Camden

• fun group times in D.C. (which included seeing a Trent Crimm lookalike on the metro)

• catching up with one of my Clemson friends, Caleb, at the national conference (s/o Charlotte Fellows)

• wearing space buns with Evy

• catching what I think is my personal best largemouth bass in the neighborhood pond

• swimming in a lagoon in Nicaragua

• watching Twilight 1-4 with Ashley (one more to go!)

This month has been super fun, but also very tiring. I’m realizing that fellows doesn’t answer all my life questions for me, but rather introduces even more of them and then forces me to face them. While that is not always my favorite experience, I do believe that it is an important one to go through. Thankfully, we are given a strong support system through Ashley, host families, mentors, church, teachers, other fellows, and so many other people that we share community with. My simple prayer request is to increase in love for and adoration of the Lord, as everything else will follow after that.

This isn’t an all-star level blog post, but I’m sleepy and Clemson just lost.

Happy Advent season! And as always…

Tootles!

Bryan

RALLOWS MONTH 3

“A Time For Everything

For everything there is a season, and time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Praise the Lord that He provides a time for everything and that He desires to be with us through every type of time. This has been a passage I have been reflecting on throughout college and for this month of November I am specifically thankful for the comfort it brings. November has been a rough month. It has been busy and hard and painful. But it has also been a month of GREAT joy. And the beauty of it all, is that there is always time for both. Through my hard outside of fellows, here are some joys within the fellows that have turned the hard into good…

• Emily and Ryan Walker welcoming me into their home and eating Taco Bell with them and AG around their table. Good times.

• The girls. They came to sit with me while I cried and talked for probably an hour. They have made me feel so heard and cared for. I love good women and especially these women.

• Sam Crutchfield, Chris Byron, and Eric Bolash coming with us on our Nicaragua trip. I have been praying for leaders like them for a long time and I am so thankful God has sent them our way. I can’t thank them enough for their gentleness, kindness, and warmth. The Fellows are so lucky to have them. And also Luis. Hi Luis! We miss you.

• Ashley Crutchfield man. Another leader I have prayed so long for. She has shown us what it looks like to love the Lord well while also just having fun and not taking everything too seriously. She is strong, full of life, and gifted to be a leader. Raleigh Fellows is Raleigh Fellows because of Ashley.

• Josh and Ryan fixing my car so I can finally listen to music again. This is healing.

• Love! My friend Mary got engaged and I am so excited for the way God has brought Morgan into her life and the way he loves her so well. I am so excited.

• Getting to see my dear friend Kat again at the DC Conference (shout-out Chattanooga Fellows). She is so full of joy and brings me so much joy. I am immensely glad to be experiencing the same thing as her even though we are miles apart.

• Working with Bailey at St. Davids. There is no one else I would rather laminate a 5 foot Christmas tree with.

• Learning more about how to pray. (Thank you Pauline and so many others!)

• Not to take a page from her book, but living with LOLA! What a light she is. If you haven’t gotten to experience her smile, I highly suggest it. How I love sitting in the giant chairs, knitting together, and watching the Holiday.

• Mark and Mona Hall. They are making host family feel a lot like real family. Thank you for including us in your Thanksgiving dinner and caring for us so well (and showing us your old yearbooks).

• AND OF COURSE: FELLOWS. I don’t think I can ever fully express how thankful I am for these people. Never in my dreams of what Fellows would look like, did I think it would look this great. Thank you fellows for putting your all into what we are doing and making this so fun.

We would never know how good it feels to heal if we were never broken.

I recommend… Pokemon (the trading card app), PB&J’s (thank you secret Santa!!!), airplanes and airports, Creep (glee version), Zumba lessons from Chris, the Corn Kid, and definitely NOT blue takis and holding babies.

Happy Thanksgiving, peace and love, and until next time,

Evy :)

See ya November !!

Yay!! I love blog season!! It feels like zero time has passed since October but here we are at the end of another month. This month has been one of really high highs and really low lows which I must say is pretty on character for how I live at any given time. There's so much I could highlight, so I’m going to try my very best to stay on track. 

Adventures 

This was a month of so so many adventures, a month of learning I can push myself to do more than I previously thought I could, a month to lean into the excitement and joy of the busy and drown out the parts of me that tend to run from that kind of thing.

Here’s a (non-exhaustive) list of adventures this month:

• I SAW TAYLOR SWIFT with my cousins to start the month. It was incredible. I cried. I’ll never be the same. I wish there was more Speak Now.

• We went to DC, we went and got after it, decorated the van, saw monuments, walked the streets, spent lots of good time together. I just love DC. Lets go back soon.

• I started knitting again. Thats pretty cool. Thanks Evy.

• I learned my ideal career is a secretary. So if anyones planning to take over the world and needs someone to do their paperwork let me know. 

• We went to Nicaragua. There’s so much I could say here. Many thoughts and feelings that I can’t quite string together coherently. It was an adventure and prayer and blessing and heavy all in one. And its cool that our God works in our jumbled thoughts and feelings and experiences. But we got to meet new people, and have fun together, and I mixed concrete (and maybe now feel passionate about the best way to mix concrete?), and each of those is an adventure in and of itself. 

Prayers

• This month has been one of praying hope over myself in moments I want to give up. Hope is a weighty concept that I’ve been wrestling with for the past few years. What does it look like to hope when you can’t see the resolution? What does it look like to hope when it feels like one more unfulfilled dream might crush what little you have left? This has been a month of why God? Why does this still hurt God? Why is this still here God? Why is it still hard God? And I can’t say I’ve come to any resolution, its honestly just continued to get harder. Yet even still. Even in the midst I return and seek to hold the hem of the one who made me.

• I don’t think I could add prayer as a little reflection section without highlighting two moments. One is prayer with Pauline. What a blessing that has been to me. Ask me about it sometime, I’ll tell you about the patience of our Savior who sits gently on the blanket waiting for me. (Also in Nicaragua we had a time of painting and prayer and so many of us drew our spots that we prayed. I thought that was cool.) The other was prayer in Nicaragua. This space was such a blessing. At first I felt very hesitant- because I have been struggling to trust that the presence of the Lord is a safe space to dwell. But he was so kind and patient with me as I tiptoed nervously to meet him. And I’m so grateful for all those who prayed for me. For Emma and Ashley and AG and Jenna and the way the Holy Spirit met me through them. He is gracious. 

Blessings

I sit writing this the day before I leave to go home for Thanksgiving. And it feels a little cliche to at this moment sit and list things I’m grateful for. But there have been so many sweet blessings this month and so I’m going to do it anyway. Also Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. It's slow and gentle and centered around good time with those I love dearly. It’s just the best. I can’t wait.

• A huge blessing this month (and always lets be honest) has been getting to live with Evy. Evy you are kind and wise and gentle. You hold space for me in a way that has a deeper impact than I think you realize. You make home joyful and I’m so glad I get to be your sister!!

• A special shout out here to our lovely November birthdays. Jenna, Tessa, Josh and Ashley each one of you is such a blessing to me and it was such a joy to get to celebrate you. 

• I am so blessed by sweet friendships this month. By people who are willing to sit in the heavy with me, usually as I attempt to divert in another direction. So thank you to everyone who was patient and kind and gracious in sitting with me in hard moments. Thanks for pressing in. I’m so grateful. The Lord has been so kind to me through the people he places to walk alongside me.

• The changing of the seasons has also been a huge joy. I LOVE WHEN ITS A LITTLE COLD ! So let's hope for more of that in the coming months (and maybe snow!?)

November Statistics

Nights slept in my own bed: 12

Different states/countries: 6

Cries: 12

Expensive airport coffees purchased: A lot

Bags of concrete mixed: So many (although tbh very little of that was me, so all credit to Bailey and Bryan there)

So I know I’ve definitely rambled for far too long. This month has been full and joyful and heavy and fun and sad and silly and exhausting and energizing and I can’t do it justice. But I’m grateful. 

Surely his goodness and mercy will follow me!!

All my love!

Lola

Josh is Back

Hey guys, it’s Josh.

The last month has been super fun. I’ve really loved getting to hang out with Ashley and the fellows. I enjoy the simple things in life like prayer partner walks, chilling on a boat, or sitting on a porch. I’m thankful for lots of time to do that.

Besides chilling, a lot happened:

My friend Ethan got engaged! I made the trip to Blacksburg to celebrate, and it was awesome.

I went home for the opening weekend of duck season.

I went to Ashley and Sam’s lake house and went fishing.

I went to the State Fair with a bunch of the fellows. I lost a lot of money on games, but it was super fun hanging out with everyone.

I went to the Duke game with Luke Harvin (former fellow & awesome dude), Bryan, and AG.

I got to go hunting with my boss Coburn, and it was an awesome time.

Huge life update: After years of refusal, I decided to give La Croix seltzer a try. I never thought I’d say it, but it’s actually pretty good.

Work update:

The wheels are rolling at RDG Commercial. There is a lot of exciting stuff going on. I’m getting to help with a lot of development and acquisitions projects. I’ve gotten to learn a ton of practical ways to incorporate the biblical economy into daily business practices. The guys at RDG talk a lot about the practice of “gleaning” and how it applies to the way that we relate to value, risk, and other people in the business world. It is awesome that our every day work is kingdom work in very practical ways. I’m very blessed to get to be a part of it.

Stats:

1 Wood Duck (My first ever)

Fish caught:

-7 Bass

-2 Flounder (Personal best)

La Croixs Drank: lots

Duke Turnovers forced on defense: 6 

Duke Points: Not enough

State Fair Games Won: 0

Overthrown passes to elementary schools at Neighbor: 83

Until next time,

Josh