Raleigh, NC. Oh how I didn’t expect to be here.

Up until recently, my life was on a very different path. Through some turning of events, these plans changed and left me wondering what to do next with my life. The Raleigh Fellows Program somewhat fell into my lap and after some sweet conversations with the infamous Ashley Crutchfield, I felt strongly that this was the Lord’s next best step for me.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possible broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in the casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” -CS Lewis

When I think of my past month in Raleigh, this quote comes to mind. We’re learning how to love. We’re learning how to be vulnerable. But loving involves risk; it involves the potential to hurt and to be hurt. The possibility of being disappointed and let down. And yet, anyone who has ever gone on a great adventure will tell you that it involves a decent amount of risk. The question we’re left with is, is it worth the risk?

On September 6, 2016 I decided that vulnerability, love, and adventure were worth the risk.

A month later I want to say: Thanks Fellows, thanks for not allowing me to avoid entanglements. Because if that’s one thing that I’ve seen so far, it’s that we’re entangled. Our hearts, our lives, our stories. Thanks for letting me be the ninth fellow and for letting me off-set the balance. Thanks for driving across the state to make my dream day a reality. Thanks for desiring to know me, to love me, to get into the mess of life with me. I can’t wait to see what the next 8 months of this adventure looks like. 

-McKenzie "Kenz" Wilson