Ah February. The month with the least amount of days. Even though it was only 2 or 3 days less than the other months, it sure felt like it went a lot quicker than that. People always say, 'time flies when you're having fun'. But I didn't feel like I was having fun. I felt like I had wasted away a whole month, not really getting myself anywhere. I apologize for the tone of this blog - I don't mean to sound so sad, I'm simply telling the truth of how I felt about the past month. Of course, when I look back and carefully analyze each week, I see how I have been making progress in my life's journey and how I have touched the lives of those around me. I think what has really been causing this cloud of unhelpful deceit around my head is my inconsistency with reading God's word. For this entire month, I have been spotty. I have not been consistent with the time or the length of time spent in scripture. I surely always feel less energized and motivated when I have not had my slice of that good pie.
Don't get me wrong. I am not really trying to promote legalism when it comes to reading the bible. I have never been a slave to starting my devotional time every day at the exact same time, or feeling horribly guilty when I don't. However, I do believe in spending that time with God every day, because that time is sacred and I want to be in a relationship with Christ in which I talk to him every day. If I am to love him above all else; if he is to be my closest friend, how can I possibly not be in connection with him every single day? I am not saying that praying and reading the word is to become a chore, or another line item to check off the list. I am saying that it is and should be the single most important thing in our lives that we look forward to each day. And I had an empty-feeling month because I did not choose to make that happen. I think people are often mistaken for being legalistic, when really they are just in love with God and believe that nothing should come above the time they spend with him. Now, we all spend time with God in different ways; in our own ways. But, "as long as we continue to reduce prayer to occasional piety we keep running away from the mystery of God's jealous love"! My closest friends are those whom I share the most with, and those who know me best! I am saying that my February just did not feel right because Jesus was not one of my closest friends this month. It was a one-way street; the traffic was only heading South.
I had written in my journal the following words: "God, graciously shift my perspective on your word. Give me grace to come and drink."
Drink? What am I drinking? Here I am referring again to his word - that I would follow through on what I know is best for me. I cannot describe it any better than this: "Imagine a man walking through the desert and in desperate need of water. When he finally finds a river, he experiences overwhelming delight. Kneeling down at the river bank, he is not asking himself, "What is the least amount I can drink and still satisfy the thirst I have?" No! He is asking, "How much of this water can I possibly get into me?!" Alas, too often for the past month (and of course many times too in the months preceding February) I have been that man, asking the first and undeniably idiotic question. Thus my prayer for you and me and everyone is this - to be rational and ask that second question when we come across the river of water that is God's word, and to desperately gulp it down as if our lives depend on it.
Well (pun intended), because they do.
mattyC