In conversations with my good friends, family, and mentor the question keeps coming up. “So how are you doing?” Three weeks in, all I can really muster up in response is a “good.” I elaborate on the program, the people, and my job, which really are all good. They’re great even. But of course I need to speak more of my mind for the people who care about me to feel like they know what’s going on inside. And here’s what I usually say.

New people, new city, new home, new life

There’s no denying that all of us Fellows have made a big shift in the past few weeks. We are surrounded by new. The only people we hang out with are people we just met. The city we live in is still a mystery; where to go on a Saturday night and where the nearest Chick-fil-A is are still questions that desperately need answers. The feeling of home, of comfort and relaxation, in our host houses hasn’t quite hit.  We’ve been given a new world, but we haven’t sunk in yet. Yet.

New normal

I was told throughout my senior year that the first year out of college is the hardest. Not sure how true that is, but I think it has some valid arguments. College life has been our normal for four years now. Before that, normal was grade school for 12 years. And now we sit in this place called post grad life, which really means real life. For the rest of our lives.  Our normal until. I can’t say that I hate it, but I can’t say that I’m thriving in it. Thankfully Raleigh Fellows is kind of a baby step into it. (So check back this time next year when we are actually in real life.)

I tell my people that if I had one of these without the other, it’d probably be easier. Figuring out post grad life alongside familiarity wouldn’t be as challenging. Going back to the school routine, even with a whole new atmosphere, would probably be comfortable enough. But we face both.

My “good” response is not a lie though. As much as I sound like a Debbie Downer, my eyes are fixed on something higher than my life circumstances. My eternal God is still the same. The center of my soul is constant and unchanging. That’s my comfort.

“But thou art the same, and thy years shall have no end.” – Psalm 102:27

So I’m good. I’m adjusting, but I’m expectant. And I think three weeks in, that’s a great place to be. 

- Elaina

PS: This isn’t my first blogging rodeo. I love my internship at Angel Oak Creative, and they let me post a blog my second week there. Shameless plug.