If you know me, then you know that procrastination is a theme in my life. If you don’t know me, then look at the date this blog was posted because it was due yesterday (whoops...sorry Ashley haha). I don’t procrastinate out of spite; however, more often than not, it’s because of my forgetfulness and my slow-and-steady-wins-the-race nature. I tend to move especially slower when it comes to things that require more thought. It takes me a while to process and organize ideas in my mind. However, I do have a couple of thoughts that I’ve come up with this past month that I’ve laid out for y’all :)

This past week, aka yesterday during the 8:30am service, I heard a sermon in which the pastor touched on ways marketing relates to our walks with Jesus. He said that there’s a marketing technique used called FUD: fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Truly I don’t really remember what he said afterwards, but I know that those three words sums up how I feel going in to this year. My biggest hope for this year is that those words shift to something different.

I’ve realized that I have all of this “stuff” to unpack and uncover from college. I thought I was going into this year completely free of any burden or weight. But the reality is, my experiences in college have shaped me in a lot of different ways, many good and many not so good . It took me all four years of college to unpack my experiences from high school. During my time in college, I figured out more of who I was and where the LORD was in the midst of my high school season. I am afraid unpacking college to some degree because unpacking can painful and hard. I mean some of us, myself included, hate unpacking so much we would hire people to do it for us if we could (which we can do but apparently it’s irresponsible to pay someone to unpack your belongings..idk) However, it’s the only way to make a house a home, so I’m ready to be like Chip and Joana, unpack, and decorate the house I’m living in this season. Speaking of the house i’m living in, HUGE shoutout to the Whited’s by the way for their graciousness and hospitality. This next year is going to be a year of growth, but also a year of healing, as I reflect on my time in college.

To conclude, I told the Fellows a story which I think was very formative to who I am today. About a month ago, I was frustrated at a lot of things, I won’t go in to detail because this blog post will never end lol, and I was angry at the LORD. It felt like He had abandoned me and wasn’t hearing me. One day, as I was on my way to work, my car ran out of gas at a left turn at an intersection with the nearest gas station being about 0.25 miles away. Embarrassingly, I got out of my car and started pushing this heavy car on a protected left turn. I was fuming, furious at God because He was truly the only person I could blame for my idiocy. Just then, magically, the car got lighter and I thought that the LORD put some gas in my car… but then I shortly realized two Mormon men had gotten off their bikes and were pushing my car with me.

I tell that story for two reasons. First, the LORD is faithful and He will show up regardless of how I feel about Him. Because that is just who He is. If that’s not the Gospel, I don’t what is *weeps. Just like how He showed up when I needed him to, I am positive that the LORD will show up this year as well, and I am excited to meet Him where He’s at this time. Second, the LORD showed up in the form of two Mormons helping me push this heavy car. Community is something I dread yet I know that God can and will do amazing things through other people. I’m nervous but also excited to go into this year with ten other guys and girls trying to figure out adulthood. We can be each other’s car pushing Mormons as we learn to love one another deeper, in turn learn to love others and most importantly learn to love God deeper.

Join me on the next episode! Tune in a month haha!