2 months into a 9 month program. 2nd blog post out of 9 blog posts. Wait I’m already sad, let’s go back to 1. Which is wacky because this time last month I was still trying to decide if I liked these people and this place. There is so much traffic, everything is 25 minutes away from everything, it was mid October and there was still no fall (I moved from florida to north carolina- i didn’t move up to have no fall again), and i still miss my friends back home. But hang on.. these people are funny. They’re always laughing. We do fun things like go to the fair at 11am on a Monday, randomly go to a WWE fight and sit in box seats and eat free wings and cupcakes, spend entirely too much money on coffee and food just to be together all the time.

This month was a turning point in my outlook on the Fellows Program. Once apathetic and kind of into it but mostly not really emotionally present, now house hunting with the girls and sad about it already being the end of October. I’m here for this. These people are teaching me a lot about what being a human is — having grace and kindness and joy and discernment, cultivating thoughts about the world beyond what i see on instagram and facebook, having feelings and not denying those feelings, understanding why you feel and what to feel and what to hold onto emotionally and what to let go of, realizing that we are not going to be everything for everybody but that we do have the freedom and the opportunity to reach further into relationships even if that means making yourself uncomfortable.

Everyone finds growth in where they are. And the growth that I’m finding here in Raleigh is something that I am so happy that I’m not missing out on. I’m so glad that my apathy towards coming to Raleigh didn't stop me from actually coming. And I pray that I would not get lost in pure socialization- as I tend to do- but that I would use this time to see God and get to know His person and character in ways I’ve never known- through these people who I now love.

Hey Raleigh, I’m here for this.