Awaken to the mystery of being here
and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.
Have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.
Receive encouragement when new frontiers beckon.
Respond to the call of your gift and the courage to
follow its path.
Let the flame of anger free you of all falsity.
May warmth of heart keep your presence aflame.
May anxiety never linger about you.
May your outer dignity mirror an inner dignity of
Take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek
Be consoled in the secret symmetry of your soul.
May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven
around the heart of wonder.
I don't really love being in the same place for long periods of time. I love being on the move and having something to look forward to. I struggle often with the practice of being still in God’s presence. I love it when I do it but busyness seems to be getting in the way of my time lately. These past couple months as a Fellow have been some of the busiest months of my life. We spend so much time doing things for God that it is hard to find time to actually spend time with God. I usually react to this by questioning where God really is and getting angry with him.
My Fellows Internship is with the Young Men’s Christian Association which is a non-profit in Raleigh. They do a lot of good in the community
There is this kid that loves to not listen to what is asked of him and go with the flow. It is awesome to watch. One afternoon when we were outside he decided to act like he couldn’t hear me when I asked him to come sit down for a game. I called his name and warned him 3 times and he stuck out his tongue, continuing to do his own thing. Obviously this is not okay so I told him he was gonna have to sit in time out for 10 minutes. This was definitely not part of his plans for the afternoon. He wanted to show me this so he pushed me as hard as he could and told me I was the meanest person in the world. Another counselor came over and talked him down then he came over to me to apologize.
I think I kind of act the same way with God. I want to run around and do my own thing. I want freedom. Then when I come to the Lord and he doesn’t say what I want I get angry. He doesn’t put us in time out though. He loves us where we are and says he is here and always will be an that we can be present with him in the here and now. I realized that instead of enjoying this truth, I often look ahead to what the next big thing is. I look forward to things. I look forward to what job I will get after fellows, where I will live, how much money I can save, when I will get married, and so on. None of these things are bad but if I am not letting them happen in God’s timing, I am wasting what he is giving me right now.
So I’ll try and look towards where God is right now, and stop pretending I cannot hear him; because he is here and it is time to come sit.