okay so hey, it’s me, writing my april blog post on may 7th. but i’m going to merge april and may because it’s too close to the end for me to have to be explicitly sentimental twice because i’m going to sit in all of that emotion for far too long, and we all know that if we know me. here we are at the end of fellows. Raleigh Fellows. seeing all of us in one room and thinking about all of us “graduating” makes me all kinds of nostalgic. i feel like we’re all in high school again and we’re about to embark on this gigantic unknown but giddy feeling of surprise also known as ~adult life~ it just makes me want to hug everyone and stand in a line like in high school musical 3 in front of a huge crowd with our caps and gowns and scream our shouts of victory and throw confetti everywhere and then dance until 3am and never clean the confetti up.

someone asked me the other day “what are you actually going to take away from fellows?” well, here are some moments that left an impact on my heart that i will always remember and always hold onto.

  • sitting on a bed at the beach retreat, 2 days in, at 3 am, showing emily magnus pictures of all my friends back home who i just left, because SHE was asking and wanting to know where i came from and who i love

  • cooking waffles and having a lock in with all the girls because there were not one but two hurricanes in the first month of living in raleigh

  • spending time in the bolton’s basement with everyone, feeling like a complete 12 year old with no worries in the world because for some reason that basement evokes a straight peter pan vibe of simply no adult vibes ever. just play

  • going to a WWE fight night for free and eating all you can eat wings and cupcakes and not knowing what was going on but it made the highlight list and i’m okay with that

  • the roundtable that sam crutchfield led where he told us that the devil calls us names and the Lord calls us names and we need to always be reminded that our name tag is full of the names God calls us and He wants to whisper those names to us all the time if we’ll listen. loved, known and still chosen, never too emotional

  • going to youth camps and praying over me and lauren’s 6th grade girls as they come up to us crying, overwhelmed by the love that jesus holds for them

  • sitting on mary young’s porch during a quiet time, and feeling jesus’ presence next to me in the rocking chair, just speaking to him and asking him what he enjoys and getting to know him as my friend rather than someone i have to answer to

  • driving through a SNOW STORM and thinking everything was ADORABLE when covered in snow

  • going to a young life camp and experiencing that YL magic. bought a t-shirt. saw the willow tree at windy gap. did not do session 3.

  • wearing a wig not once but twice ~ shout out to gammy

  • going on a silent retreat and walking the stages of the cross on a path in the woods- walking the road to his death with jesus and seeing him fall, seeing him weep, seeing his family and friends and mother wonder why, and seeing him suffer, seeing the love that he literally shed for me, and just being completely overwhelmed by the idea that he did it for me

  • having everyone make me a BIRTHDAY VIDEO wishing me happy birthday!!! and emily compiling them all into one!!! and me CRYING

  • sitting in a field for class, listening to scott steele tell us that it doesn’t matter what your job is, your calling is always ministry. our calling is to serve God in any capacity of occupation

basically i’m here to say, i got a lot out of fellows, but this is just the beginning to my life of refining and learning and implementing and being aware of emotions and being thankful for community. fellows and everyone involved, i love you to the moon and back and i am just senti-menti about what this year has been. thank you all for your sparkle. let’s keep sparkling together.

“i’ve been thinking about tomorrow instead of drowning in the past

we had good times even back when dreams were all we had to last

so as i wake up this bright morning nothing’s going to bring me down

waves are singing, wind is warm, and summer’s here to stick around.”

10/10 would recommend

~amy kay