Hello, hello!
I can’t believe we are a third of the way through this year - like I said, sick and twisted! Wow, was November full, where to even start. This month held a lot of good but of course as we settle into this year, this month naturally has been stretching. Yep, stretching, I think that’s a good way to describe it. This month, like physically stretching has hurt a little bit, it’s been somewhat uncomfortable, and I feel a little bit out of practice, but with time and with some leaning in, growth will come.
I know you’re all wondering what I might be talking about so I’ll let you behind the curtain of my November. We started this month off with a bang! at Ashley’s birthday party (which I’m sure you will get to read a lot about in all the blogs) and it was so awesome. Not only did we get to celebrate our shining star of a director but it also allowed us to get a peak into the extensive community that Ashley and Sam have cultivated in Raleigh. It honestly gets me excited for a future of digging roots and making it a mission to bring people together as the dance party in their front lawn so obviously did. Soon after, we headed up to DC packed into a 15 passenger van with plenty of snacks and high spirits for the fellows initiative conference! I LOVED THAT TRIP. It was so special to meet people from other programs, get to hear about what they are loving, and watch my Raleigh friends reconnect with their family and friends from all over. The fellows have basically been friends since the first week, but there’s some type of magic that happens in a crowded van and late nights at a hotel - you can’t help but start to love each other a little more. Since we’ve been back from the conference, I’ve spent my weeks having cozy movie nights, a most perfect field day, dinners with Kathryn (mentor), bowling with my eighth grade girls, celebrating each other’s wins, loving my job, and spending time with my family over break. I’ve been feeling grateful for all of these people and opportunities that I don’t deserve yet so kindly have been given.
With all of these wonderful things, comes growing pains. In the months leading up to this program, I prayed that these nine months would wreck me a little bit - in a break where I have settled and disrupt the plans of my limited mind type of way. It’s so funny when we ask the Lord for things and then are surprised when he answers us. So here I am, getting a little bit wrecked and feeling a little bit broken. I’m wrestling with purpose, sitting in the confusion of work and my faith and straining for clarity. I’ve let fear and doubt and limits blur where I’m being met right now in the right here. I feel my soul, my deepest insecurities and desires being teased out, but the good news is I know He who is doing the work. He shows me again and again that he has no boundaries, no walls, no limitations. His love, his heart, his mercy moves and flows without barrier. So I'll hold on! I’ll trust that my broken tiny view of his big wonderful plan will always fall short of what he has for his kingdom and his children. I'm being stretched, I’m feeling pulled and I’m learning that the mess and the pieces all over the ground might be right where the Lord is pressing his finger, asking me to pay attention.
What I’m loving as we leave November
Exclamation points!!! You might have picked up on this but I love !!! how else can I show you how I’m feeling (I know this is controversial)
A decorated christmas tree, full of childhood ornaments
Riding with my dad over break with the top of his convertible down
Laughing and joking and being silly with the fellows!
My room newly filled with christmas decorations
Fresh air
Kathryn, love that girl!
Okay goodbye! Happy advent, rejoice!
With love, Reagan
