January is a month that usually feels like it doesn’t really exist; however, this January in particular was such a whirlwind of so many things that it truly felt like a dream.
I started off this month (and new year) with friends at the beach in St. Augustine. It was a cold and windy but sunny NYE that consisted of spike ball, beach karaoke, walking touch football in the sand, watching fireworks on the beach (and the spider parade of smoke that they leave behind), a random Irish Pub, playing imposter, eating 12 grapes under the table at midnight (I only managed 6), and quality time with some people I really love.
On New Year's Day, I flew back to Raleigh for one full day before we headed off to Nicaragua. I had never been to Central America, so I was super excited to have the chance to travel there. It is a beautiful tropical paradise marred by poverty and brokenness. Driving from the airport to our lodgings, we saw streets lined with colorful metal trees, which I thought might just be a fun artist's contribution to the city. However, we later learned that the President’s wife is involved with witchcraft, and the trees are a symbol of her dictatorship and the authoritarian rule of the government.
There were some really wonderful parts of our trip, like surfing in the Pacific Ocean, the hospitality of the Buzbee family, swimming in the pool as the sun set, celebrating Reagan’s birthday, Tajin on everything (iykyk), the prayer room, ziplining, waterslides, and the Laguna. There were also the most incredible, strong, feisty, silly, and sweet little girls in the community of Los Fortunas, where we went to serve, who were a joy to be around. They ran that town, literally and figuratively.
There were also some really difficult parts of the trip, like being made aware of the lack of clean water, accessible education, waste-management infrastructure, and the safety of girls and women in most communities. In my time as a Raleigh Fellow, I have become more aware of the world's hard, broken parts, now including parts of Nicaragua. I have found that being faced with this brokenness has moved me into a posture of greater awareness of my own and the world's. This grief would be impossible to bear without the knowledge of the victory of Christ over sin and death. I still have many feelings to process about my inability to make the world perfect (Enneagram 1 saying hello) and anger toward a government that does not care for its people well. But, if anything, I have been brought to a place of powerlessness that exemplifies my and the world’s desperate need for a savior.
Even though the trip was difficult, I left feeling refreshed, with quality Fellows time, and deeply seen and known by the Lord after receiving some prophetic prayer (I went in soooo sceptical of this, but ask me how it went). We got back to Raleigh super late on a Saturday night after a 5-hour layover in Miami (2 of those hours being spent at the airport Chilis). Sunday night, we enjoyed a youth group silent disco (my first ever) before a Monday morning at Mary Young's house for a Spiritual retreat morning, which was very helpful for processing our time in Nicaragua. Then back to work!
The rest of January was marked by work, the Enneagram, cancelled classes, baking cookies with Maggie Mae, Monday night round table, The Standard and Beows, ice and snow warnings that kept us inside (and made me terrified to lose power… if anyone needs 20 hand warmers let me know), catching a cold, Friday night church, birthday parties, and a fellows gal sleepover. So safe to say… what the heck happened in those 31 days. Despite feeling like a fever dream, it was fun to rest and have a mixed-up, not-as-full schedule that allowed spontaneity and gave me time to read non-fellows books.
I love you all! Thanks for reading and talk to you in February XOXO - Jackie