What a whirlwind of a month. The bitter cold of winter is finally started to break open into spring, and I feel myself starting to come alive! Each winter, I feel like the Lord (in tangent with Lent) is working on the underground parts of me, uprooting some things and planting others, in time for me to open out to the world in the spring and summer. In fellows, this pattern has been more true than ever!
At our Career, Calling and Vocation Retreat, I took a closer look at myself – so close, in fact, that I became weary of self reflection, for perhaps the first time ever – and saw glimpses of my strengths and weaknesses from a new light. While overwhelming, the information I learned about myself has also equipped me with new language and framework for growth, and I've started seeing myself a little more in line with how God sees me, or at least I hope. All I know is that He is so fond of me and likes me a lot, and that's good enough for now!
Then, we flew straight into genogram paper-writing! Honestly, this has just been one big grind to get it done, but it's been a really interesting time to reflect on my family while also seeing myself more clearly. I don't really have anything particularly introspective or revolutionary to say other than that, so I shall beware the unbearable weight of meaning-making and stop there for now.
God has been doing a quietly disruptive work in my life this year, and it feels like it’s really been poking its head up this January and February. And then here comes Lent! Right on time as usual! What a perfect time to sit with the Lord in all of this. Again, don't have anything I feel like sharing yet, but I feel my soul resetting. And if you know me, you know I've been eating up my blessings from “Celtic Wheel of the Year - Old Celtic and Christian Prayers”. Here's a blessing for Ash Wednesday that I shared with the group at CCVR in a devotional:
May the blessing of God,
from whom I came and to whom I shall return,
be upon me as I take each step of this sacred journey.
Remain with me this day and every day
Until you lead me into your peace dear God.
Okay I'm done writing. Can't stand another minute of self reflection. Love you all. See you next month!
-Maddie Grace (aka Mattie Greg)