I have been in this run club for a long time. I run, talk, ask questions, get exhausted, experience beauty, slow down and walk, ask more questions, get excited, talk some more, yada yada yada. You get it, run clubs are the thing. Anyways, running ends when I go to bed, and when I wake up I get to run all over again the next day.
My shin splints from 8th grade cross country are screaming for help at the thought of being a member of an actual run club. The run club I’m referring to is the great gift I have of being an internal skeptic. I challenge everything. I ask everything. I wonder everything. In my mind there is a constant flow of questions and dreams; it always seems to be go go go run club up in this mind of mine. I also do all of this externally, but that’s not the point of this blog.
When I stepped into my relationship with the Lord a little over 4 years ago, I didn’t hesitate to bring my Internal Skeptic Run Club along with me. The cool part is now I can acknowledge God’s presence in that space with me, but that means I also easily challenge his love for me and question his faithfulness he’s shown me.
Morgan led her Roundtable last night and we were prompted to draw something that we are taking from fellows into this transition as a reminder of what God has shown us this year. Two very physical reminders the Lord has kept using to rein my thoughts in during run club have been Simon helping Jesus carry his cross and Emily Walker showing us pictures of the tiny cellar Paul was imprisoned and where writers of Paul’s letter came to listen and transcribe what Paul was proclaiming. These are two very physical reminders with a whole lot of evidence, which Internal Skeptic Run Club is really blown away by. Jesus’ physical neediness and Paul’s testimony being heard beyond the walls of a tiny cellar both rocked my world and continue to.
I’m reminded of this scripture that we read in our last Spiritual Formation with Mary Young. This was a time I got to close my eyes and spend in realization of these physical reminders, putting the pieces together, and then I fell asleep with Carsyn sleeping on the other end of the same couch (all perfect). Luke 24: 38-39… He said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.”
Here are a few other physical reminders of the Lord’s sufficiency and goodness from this last month that I have experienced!
Easter Sunday at Apostles was super special
Went to Colorado for a week for work and just missed Ashley and the fellows a bunch. Really cool to have people that I miss while I’m away from them and 9 months ago they were strangers.
Biking at the beach & Mountains and maps
Time with my mentor, Emily Smith! Great balance of laughter and seriousness
Feeling a sense of accomplishment from work this week (usually I just don’t acknowledge how I feel leaving work unless it’s being tired- need to obviously try to change this)
Bieberchella
Richmond/Charlottesville weekend
Saw some of my family in Charlotte this past weekend!
Velvet Taco free queso in Flip flops in the rain
xoxo, talk again soon! promise. -Hailey Cook