The thing I was most excited about when I chose to move to Raleigh was the promise of experiencing all four seasons. I am a Florida girl in mind, body, and spirit, which means that warm weather, sunshine, and green palm trees feel like home to me. Despite this, there has always been a part of me that cannot resist the coziness of fall. And, although I have seen the leaves change in various places throughout my life, I have never experienced it in a place I inhabit.
You might be thinking: Jackie, it’s only the end of September, the leaves are hardly changing, and to that I would agree with you. However, as someone who grew up seeing vibrant green, I believe I have a special ability to notice the ever-so-slight rusting of leaves and golden hues sprinkled along the oak-lined streets on my morning and evening commutes.
Moving away from the only state I’ve ever known, the leaves changing was something I could hope for. A known. The only comforting change I could allow myself to acknowledge as I came into Fellows, which launches you into so many unknowns. It was scary to leave my college town, friends, family, friends that feel like family, my church, my home state, and so many familiar things that I deeply cherish. If anyone asked me what I was excited for, I found myself leaning on the phrase “for the leaves to change!” What I was not ready for was the joy I would experience in the change of my life itself.
Just as slowly as the leaves have begun to change, so have I. Not in a crazy way, but in the sense that I am more open to life changing. With every passing day, I am feeling more confident in the Lord’s plan for me in Raleigh for this season. I am so grateful for the class of my fellow Fellows with whom I get to experience this program. They are fun, lighthearted, intentional, silly, and full of tenderness. I am grateful for Ashley and her relational, fun, and hospitable style of directing and for my wonderful host family, the Thielmans, who have already made me feel like part of their family. I am so blessed to work at Raleigh Rescue Mission with a wonderful team that cares deeply for those in the community. I have had the best time forming a friendship with my Mentee at Neighbor-to-Neighbor, and I am so excited to keep learning from the classes that we are taking.
As confident as I am in the changing of the leaves, I am confident in the Lord’s sovereignty over my life. Just as he is carefully sprinkling bits of gold onto the canopy of trees in North Carolina, he has been placing bits of himself for me to see in my time here, day by day.
With life slowly unfolding, it is sweet to see the promise of vibrant colors ahead.
xoxo Jackie (had to do it Gossip Girl style)