A friend sent me a book the other day called Seasons of Your Heart written by Macrina Wiederkehr. I was flipping through this book a bit last night and came across this reflection that was named Fear Makes Us Strangers. I read it before bed and bookmarked it to come back to today. I’ve been desiring a way to get my mind into the space of intentionally thinking back to how I felt arriving in Raleigh a year ago vs. how I feel arriving back in Raleigh this week, and to a degree this reflection allowed me to get into that space.
A piece of the reflection read:
The truth is that we’ve been blessed beyond telling by a Stranger who walked into our lives and showed us his heart, wept our tears, lived our life, and died our death.
It sounds simple and poetic except that we’ve been asked to do the same; for this is the Stranger who, according to Paul, left within our hearts the same power he carried in his own (Romans 8: 10-11).
…As I reflect on my own moments of abandoning people I love, I become aware of the truth that it is usually fear that drives me away.
It is fear that makes us strangers. It is fear that keeps us from entering each other’s lives and celebrating who we are with one another. The only weapon strong enough to destroy fear is love. Love is often shared around a table. Perhaps this is why the Hebrew people felt so strongly about eating together.
Without ever putting words to it last year, I came to Raleigh with the desire to be in deep relationship with people and the counteracting fear that my authentic self was about to be revealed to strangers. Are they going to like me? Do I let my real personality into these relationships? Don’t get too vulnerable, Hailey. They’re just in your life for a year.
We sit down as strangers
strangers in our own household
Yet we eat together
The possibility remains
Some day we will leave as friends
We will drop our masks of fear
and we will recognize each other
for the first time.
How can we hand bread to one another
and remain the same?
I don’t know when the mask of fear dropped, but I do know that it was impossible to sit around a table, over and over again, with each other and remain the same. Letting love, desire, curiosity, and wonder have its way with you changes you and the people around you.
Below are some pictures of my summer from a sacred and unexplainable space in my life that all of the above is also true about. Incoming fellows! I’m so thrilled to meet you! Don’t let fear make us strangers and I won’t either, ok?
All the best, forever and always!
-Hailey Cook
